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Bummer Man

September 14, 2015

‘Bummer Man’

I get the call out of the blue… “I’m leaving and going back home where its cooler. I’m breaking out in a heat rash…”

I can’t talk her out of it, I care for her but I can’t change her mind. If I tried she would just panic and run faster. This is what? The seventh time she has run back home. It doesn’t matter that she’ll be practically broke, sleeping on the streets, nothing to eat; by now she already has her ticket.

It hurts but I always let her have her way just like I always have my way. Will she be safe? I worry for her. I tell her I’ll say a prayer for her. She’s grateful.

I tell her to keep the phone, and call me to let me know you are alright.

She calls me from the station, she’s happy she got a disabled persons discount. She now has fifteen dollars to last her till the first of next month.

It makes me sadder.

We have always just been friends, mutually beneficial for each other. I cook, she washes the dishes, I dry. She does the laundry I take care of the motor-home we live in. she has food, shelter and comfort, but no air conditioner. Aww man, bummer.

I hope she’ll be okay; she knows she’s always welcome. Friends till the end.

Now I have to survive without her help. She is on SSI, I get food stamps. Together we made it work. Now she’ll wait to get paid and then rent a hotel for a week and then spend the rest of the month on the streets asking for food or a blanket.

She’s crazy, I know. But we made a partnership of friendship when I first met and offered to help.  Together we have enough to last the month; apart we will both suffer.

I’m past the ‘close to tears’ stage. I worry for her safety and hope I will win the PCH sweepstakes, then, I can afford air conditioning.

There is also more time to myself and my Lord Jesus.

I’ve been meditating, (thinking) (Deeply), on my position of understanding a scripture of verse. Eph. 4:15

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”

Of course I couldn’t just leave it at verse 15, let’s also read verse 14, and maybe throw in verse 16. I’ve long used verses 4:17-24 to show how it is applied to your walk in the Way.

Long I’ve wondered, ‘where to now Lord?’ but here’s what I would like to do, but your will be done. Yet now I know to continue in the Way and speak the truth in love while I grow mature in Christ Jesus.

Still I’d like to be able to do my ‘worksbyjj’ on-line and I think that my dreams I’d like to do are strong, could they be part of my ‘works’ done in Christ? Hmmm.

The Lord Jesus said that his Way is not so grievous. It’s not hard to walk in the Way of Jesus, it just takes a constant commitment; but with the benefits of attaining the fruits of the spirit and becoming confident in my assured faith, it’s worth it. Just keep in mind it is a cumulative effect!

That doesn’t mean I can walk on water or heal the sick; I can’t, my spirit side says I can but I win. But the Bible says to desire spiritual gifts to edify the church-body; so I ask for spiritual gifts, but ask if I can have one that doesn’t wreck havoc on my life as the gift of prophesy has done. To understand and find that which is hidden put me through hell on earth from the time I was 15 till I was 52 and was found to be on the Path of the Way.

I pray and ask for the gift of miraculous healing. I’m not like some who pray for a healing; I’ve heard the Lord speak to me before, so I’d expect to know if or when I can heal because I’d have to say the words he would give me to say in order to have what I ask for; and I’m not hearing anything. Hmmm.

My girl-friend called. She’s on the train and wants to tell me about it, but I interrupt. Assured she will call me when she gets home, we say our good-byes.

The thought has passed my mind that if I could heal as Jesus did, would the person being healed, Want to be healed???

Look around you, there are millions of people on disability and receive a monthly check. It’s an SSI check, a disability check thru social security, a welfare check or just food stamps. (tho’ you don’t need to be disabled to get food stamps. Just indigent – no job, no income.)

And if you asked a disabled person – Would you like to be healed even knowing you will lose your check…the check he pays his rent with, buys his food with, or his clothes…what would he do without it?

‘Anything that I’d be able to do and make a living in.’ But for most the skills are old and forgotten. I think most living check to check and am DEPENDING on it, would suffer if healed.

Take myself for example, I’ve been locked up in five state hospitals, and eight prison commitments from the age of 15 to 52 and am now 61. I have limited skills and too old for most places. My past was needed to find the knowledge in the gift of prophecy, but the world without Christ just sees an ex-con.

Then I remember the verse in Eph. And I’ll be content teaching the Way of truth in love and grow mature along the Way. It is not such a grievous thing.


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